The Bro Codes

"Whether we know it or not, each of us lives a life governed by internalized code of conduct. Some call it morality. Others call it religion. I call it "The Bro Code"." --Barney Stinson

the-bro-codes:

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(via the-bro-codes)

the-bro-codes: But only after first disclosing an honest estimate on both time commitment and number of large furniture pieces. If the bro has vastly underestimated, either his bros retain the right to leave his possessions where they are, in most cases stuck in a door-way. 

the-bro-codes:

But only after first disclosing an honest estimate on both time commitment and number of large furniture pieces. If the bro has vastly underestimated, either his bros retain the right to leave his possessions where they are, in most cases stuck in a door-way. 

the-bro-codes: It’s normal for a Bro to get confused and disoriented when dumping a chick. For some reason he is worried she will become agitated or even violent after he calmly explains his desire to hook up with her friends. This is when a Bro most needs his Bro to remind him that there are plenty of chicks in the ocean and that a breakup need not be hazardous, stressful or even time- consuming. How to dump an chick in 6 words or less…  - “Maybe try a side salad instead.” - “Cute!! You’re growing a moustache too!” - “She looks like a younger you!” - “I will finance a boob job.” - “Sorry I threw your shoes out.” - “Your sister let me do that!” 

the-bro-codes:

It’s normal for a Bro to get confused and disoriented when dumping a chick. For some reason he is worried she will become agitated or even violent after he calmly explains his desire to hook up with her friends. This is when a Bro most needs his Bro to remind him that there are plenty of chicks in the ocean and that a breakup need not be hazardous, stressful or even time- consuming. How to dump an chick in 6 words or less… 

- “Maybe try a side salad instead.” 

- “Cute!! You’re growing a moustache too!” 

- “She looks like a younger you!” 

- “I will finance a boob job.” 

- “Sorry I threw your shoes out.” 

- “Your sister let me do that!” 

so my friend(girl) while at my bros house cause they were bored. then he decided to act like they were messin around cause he knows i like her. is this a violation?

Very similar to Article 21: A Bro never shares observations about another Bro’s smoking-hot girlfriend. - And yes, sorry bro.

the-bro-codes: There are no sentiments between two Bros that cannot be articulated through the convenience and emotional distance of electronic mail. 

the-bro-codes:

There are no sentiments between two Bros that cannot be articulated through the convenience and emotional distance of electronic mail. 

the-bro-codes: Corollary to this states, if a Bro gets naked in the locker room, all other Bros shall pretend that nothing out of the ordinary is happening while at the same time immediately averting their eyes. When in doubt, remember the old adage. If your towel drops to the ground, so should your eyes. 

the-bro-codes:

Corollary to this states, if a Bro gets naked in the locker room, all other Bros shall pretend that nothing out of the ordinary is happening while at the same time immediately averting their eyes. When in doubt, remember the old adage. If your towel drops to the ground, so should your eyes. 

the-bro-codes: It is a sacred document not to be shared with chicks for any reason. NOTE: If you are a woman reading this, first let me apologize: it was never my intention for this book to contain so much math. Second, I urge you to look at this document for what it is a piece of fiction meant to entertain a broad audience through the prism of stereotypical gender differences. I mean, sometimes it really is like we’re from different planets! Clearly, no real person would actually believe or adhere to the vulgar rules contained within. *Those boots are adorable, b-t-dub. 

the-bro-codes:

It is a sacred document not to be shared with chicks for any reason.

NOTE: If you are a woman reading this, first let me apologize: it was never my intention for this book to contain so much math. Second, I urge you to look at this document for what it is a piece of fiction meant to entertain a broad audience through the prism of stereotypical gender differences. I mean, sometimes it really is like we’re from different planets! Clearly, no real person would actually believe or adhere to the vulgar rules contained within. *Those boots are adorable, b-t-dub.