The Bro Codes

"Whether we know it or not, each of us lives a life governed by internalized code of conduct. Some call it morality. Others call it religion. I call it "The Bro Code"." --Barney Stinson

Anonymous asked: okay , so say a guy really likes a girl and his bestfriend starts talking to said girl, and girl likes this bestfriend and has no interest in the guy that really likes her and then they start to hangout and like eachother. is that against the bro code?

no dude, you should bang her

or another will do that for you

Anonymous asked: can i sleep with my bro's ex?

dude DUDE! don’t do it that

I hate mosquitoes! I mean, I know I’m delicious but damn.

Vocabulary

Unless you’re in High School or a successful rapper, YOLO and SWAG should NOT be in your vocabulary. Grown Men don’t use such words.

the-bro-codes:

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(via the-bro-codes)

the-bro-codes:

But only after first disclosing an honest estimate on both time commitment and number of large furniture pieces. If the bro has vastly underestimated, either his bros retain the right to leave his possessions where they are, in most cases stuck in a door-way. 

the-bro-codes:

But only after first disclosing an honest estimate on both time commitment and number of large furniture pieces. If the bro has vastly underestimated, either his bros retain the right to leave his possessions where they are, in most cases stuck in a door-way. 

the-bro-codes:

It’s normal for a Bro to get confused and disoriented when dumping a chick. For some reason he is worried she will become agitated or even violent after he calmly explains his desire to hook up with her friends. This is when a Bro most needs his Bro to remind him that there are plenty of chicks in the ocean and that a breakup need not be hazardous, stressful or even time- consuming. How to dump an chick in 6 words or less… 
- “Maybe try a side salad instead.” - “Cute!! You’re growing a moustache too!” - “She looks like a younger you!” - “I will finance a boob job.” - “Sorry I threw your shoes out.” - “Your sister let me do that!” 

the-bro-codes:

It’s normal for a Bro to get confused and disoriented when dumping a chick. For some reason he is worried she will become agitated or even violent after he calmly explains his desire to hook up with her friends. This is when a Bro most needs his Bro to remind him that there are plenty of chicks in the ocean and that a breakup need not be hazardous, stressful or even time- consuming. How to dump an chick in 6 words or less… 

- “Maybe try a side salad instead.” 

- “Cute!! You’re growing a moustache too!” 

- “She looks like a younger you!” 

- “I will finance a boob job.” 

- “Sorry I threw your shoes out.” 

- “Your sister let me do that!” 

so my friend(girl) while at my bros house cause they were bored. then he decided to act like they were messin around cause he knows i like her. is this a violation?

Very similar to Article 21: A Bro never shares observations about another Bro’s smoking-hot girlfriend. - And yes, sorry bro.